Beautiful Butterflies

“Recipes don’t work unless you use your heart! “ – Dylan Jones

First post. I want to start it with a story:

Your are happily driving your small cute, blue car. First day of summer, the air is fresh and bright, far away you can see the shore, with lots of different shades of browns,
blues and few clouds. People are walking in the streets, with happy outfits, eating their first ice-creams.

The best life, the best day, the best moment.

Until the second when a massive truck destroys your car, projects you over the other side and you smash on a wall, becoming the very first metallic smoothie. You go in a coma, and wake up 8 months later.

Still in your bed, you ask your self what happened, why are you there. They explain you what you went through, with much of a despair you thank the universal harmony that you are still alive. You ask the nurse to help you stand up and then you see it… You see the reflection of your face in the mirror not too far away.

You can’t help it but scream, from the top of you voice.

Who the heck is that face staring back at me?

That is not me.

The doctor now mentions the fact that your face got smashed, and they had to do a total face transplant.

Your mind can’t think of anything else but that you will be forever trapped in a representation of yourself that doesn’t belong to you, as much as that plant on the window seal is not a chocolate cookie.

From that day on, you is not you, YOU that everyone sees, is not the YOU that you see. Every desperate day, when you are still asleep and go to the bathroom to wash THE face, cause you can’t call it yours, a panic attack emerges. With time you kinda get ok with it, but still, still deep that immense feeling of not belonging, of not being what your truly are. Worse, you witness a slight move on people’s opinion, as they SEE you are looking different, they treat you differently. At one point you just look crazy at their eyes by telling them that what they see is not the real you.

Then one day, someone comes to you and tells you that you can have your true self back, but you will need to fight society that now believes YOU is what they see, you need to fight pain -emotional and physical. Would you do it?

No matter the pain, you would, I know you would try your best to get your true self back.

Well, this is what I perceive someone who belongs to Transgender* community (* I will refer to #transgender as an umbrella term, for further reading on the subject: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender) has to go through.

Even if I am not part of it, I can totally try to feel what it means. An excruciating pain of fighting to become who they really are, how they really see themselves; fighting against people calling them monsters, abomination, face religious fanatics claiming the rule of a notcaringgod that made you that way and you better stick with it because otherwise it means you are unnatural (Are we SERIOUS? UNNATURAL!).

But no, these beautiful butterflies they do not stop, they fight, they fight, they fight some more until they reach what they always saw in the mirror. Some got stabbed, strangled, raped, shot to death, expelled from school, fired from work just because they were and are trying to achieve what truly belongs to them:
1988 – Venus Xtravaganza
Carla Leigh Salazar
Brandon Teena
Rita Hester
Christine Chappel
Amanda Milan
Loni Kai
Gwen Araujo
Nizah Morris
Nireah Johnson
Shelby Tracy Tom
Angie Zapata
Lateisha “Tiesh” Green
Sonia Burgess
Stacey Blahnik
Victoria Carmen White
Marcal Camero Tye
Dee Dee Pierson
Crain Cornaway
Deoni Jones
Agnés Torres Hernández
Coko Williams
Tyrell Jackson
Paige Clay
Brandy Martell
Lorena Extravaganza
Tracey Johnson
Tiffany Gooden
Deja Johnson
Kendall Hampton
Kyra “Cruz” Cordova
January Marie Lapuz
Rene “Rosita” Hidalgo Hernandez
Evon Young
Cernia “Ce Ce” Dove
Kelly Young
Ashley Sinclair
Islan Nettles
Dominique Newburn
Eyricka Morgan
Jessica Vargas Bringas, aka José Manuel Vargas Bringas
Melony Smith
Betty Skinner,
Brittany-Nicole Kidd-Stergis
Dwayne Jones
Mayang Prasetyo
Çağla Joker
Cingene Gül
Keeta Bakhsh
Mahadevi
Rosa Rebut
Yaz’min Shancez
Kandy Hall
Zoraida Reyes
Tiffany Edwards
Mia Henderson
Alejandra Leos,
Aniya Parker
Shelley Hilliard
Ashley (Michelle) Sherman
Breana “Gizzy” Fowler
Deshawnda Sanchez
Jennifer Laude
Mary Jo Añonuevo
Marcela Duque
Yoshi Tsuchida
Papi Edwards
Lamia Beard
Ty Underwood
Yazmin Vash Payne
Taja DeJesus
Penny Proud
Bri Golec
Kristina Gomez Reinwald
Keyshia Blige
Vanessa Santillan
London Chanel
Mercedes Williamson
India Clarke,
Amber Monroe
Kandis Capri
Elisha Walker
Tamara Dominguez
Kiesha Jenkins
Zella Ziona
Fernanda “Coty” Olmos
Marcela Estefania Chocobar
Amancay Diana Sacayán
Alisha
Hande Kader
Tara
Barbie Ann Reilly
Nadine Stransen
Niurkeli
William Lound
Lorena F. Zaratevilcas
Monica Pineda Rivera
Paulett Gonzalez
Monica Loera
Jasmine Sierra
Kayden Clarke
Veronica Banks Cano
Maya Young
Demarkis Stansberry
Kedarie/Kandicee Johnson
Kourtney Yochum
Shante Thompson
Keyonna Blakeney
Reese Walker
Mercedes Successful
Amos Beede
“Goddess” Diamond
Deeniqua Dodds
Dee Whigham
Erykah/Erika Tijerina
Rae’Lynn Thomas
T.T. Saffore
Crystal Edmonds
Jazz Alford
Brandi Bledsoe
Sierra/Simon Bush
Noony Norwood
Nathallya Figueiredo
Bié, aka Bianca Abravanel
T.E. de M. Geremias
Paula
Jessica Mendes Cavalcanti
Luana Biersack
Leticia B. da Silva
2016 – Andinho
List of unlawfully killed transgender people

This post is dedicated to them, to you, to all those on this intense journey: Thanks for teaching me the power of being, to restless fight for my rights, to emerge and fly. Let’s create together a better society, where none needs to fear to be killed, abused, excluded by working on becoming the butterfly they really are, let’s stop this.

With #love ❤,
Andy

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