Why I HATE Truman Capote

” Never love a wild thing, Mr Bell… Then the sky. That’s how you’ll end up, Mr Bell. If you let yourself love a wild thing. You’ll end up looking at the sky ” – Holly Golightly

If I have a spirit animal, well Holly Golightly is the one.
A wild thing. With this wanderer spirit engraved into the DNA of my soul. Why do I hate Truman Capote? Because reading your flipping biography on a writer’ story is scary, made of emotions and feelings so much resembling your own.

Pretending not to cry while reading the last few words. Holly, Holly, did you find a place, Holly?
At the end, you realise, she never actually needed to. Her place, was herself, her dreams, her hopes for a better tomorrow. She worked hard on it, ready to give up everything for that.
Feelings.
Damned feelings. What are we, though, without them?
They called me an emotional surgeon, apparently, I have the ability to cut right through them and make myself feel what I want.
Apparently, as it’s not true.
I don’t think I am an emotional surgeon, as none else is, really.
I just manage to see them as they are: feelings; and allow myself to experience them without holding them back when their time is due. I do feel extremely sad when your own family feel compelled to shun you and the things that you do; or when someone who you start to like, becomes someone that you don’t want to see anymore. I have no complaints about this life, it has given me so much and I learnt so plenty, especially in the last few months I realised what words (such as mother, father, family, best friends, friends, partners) actually mean.
I don’t hold my feelings, the love for a mother can thin down as the interest to a best friend. Or feeling extremely connected to a stranger that you won’t see anymore, but that brief, intimate moment felt like 10 years.
Life goes, we need to flow with it. Never withhold emotion, allow yourself to feel, and allow yourself to let go of those emotions.
They are not meant to be trapped in a jar.
So I let go the love of a family, the things of a past me that are clearing out, revealing themselves as they always were. I let myself feel these glimpses of love from unusual encounters and I just embrace whatever comes through as it could be the first and last time that I will be ever able to feel anything like that.
Never withhold, forever changing.
Home isn’t a place, isn’t with someone, home is wherever you decide to let yourself be.
I think parents should read Breakfast at Tiffany’s to their kids, teaching them how to be part of something bigger without renouncing to their individuality. What’s this something bigger? The Earth and the humans.
One Earth, that we live on, maybe just temporarily, but so damnably intensively. I wish to all of those that they haven’t figured it out yet, that there is nothing to figure out, just live.
Get that damned ticket and go to Brazil, no matter what, with your list of the 50iest richest men in Brazil. Live, love and laugh, without regrets.
Never felt better in my whole life, poised for those that will just stare at the sky, wondering.
I am a person with no ambitions yet, or at least, not those that many people have. Maybe because I grew up believing that no matter what you do, things are out of your control, that you can’t change them, you can only try to find a way to “better cope with it”; while waiting for a savior to fix all the mess. While it’s easier to think this way, and it kinda moves you to a “zombie-status”, it’s terribly detrimental if you at one point decide that you actually do care about society, and you do care about the future generations, and you are fed up of waiting for someone, when you know you can actually start feeling better right now.
So here I am, a 27 y.o. trying to have some goals in life that aren’t just “be good”, but more “be good, and try to solve issues”.
At the end, if anyone would have, though “nothing can be changed” we would still be living in terrible conditions with little expectancy from life.
What I love about this society that I’m living in, is that is trying hard to awaken people inside, from the long torpor-like status of fake comforts, teaching them that “feeling something” is right and must be done.
I think we should follow the steps of the original awakeners and start the engine of “change”.
So, that’s it, my ambitious for 2017? Inspiring people to follow their inspirations.
Someone told me I should write my story. I will one day and I will entitle it: “From waiting for a bouquet to growing your own flowers”.

Be brave, be fierce and never forget that no one, on this forever-moving-planet, can live your life for you. They could try to and you might allow it but remember that no one actually can.
Maybe that’s why as much as Holly Golightly I don’t need a “home”, cause my home is the planet Earth; and… spoiler alert… It’s your planet too.

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