I’m such a liar! I promised I was going to review at least a new place in Stockbridge every week, but I failed miserably! I’m sorry!
What’s going on in my life?
Well, few days ago was my birthday, and my first birthday ever! Didn’t do much, after you spend your whole life not celebrating your day of birth, well you don’t really care, but other people do, and it was amazing to see how many actually cared! Some of them wrote amazing and beautiful things, maybe copied from some Google search quotes, but still, they thought of me!
It’s also my first year out of a mind control cult, that drove me to the brick of suicide and nearly left me lifeless, which it did unfortunately for so many other people that couldn’t manage to fight the status-quo and decided to terminate their lives. So, my thought goes to them, to all those trapped beings that couldn’t escape the terrible prison.
I finished reading an amazing book “In order to live” by Yeonmi Park, and it talks about her journey to freedom from North Korea, I couldn’t help it but find my self sobbing in tears understanding to the core her feelings. There’s 8 milion people of Jehovah’s Witnesses trapped in an imaginary North Korea, that can’t help it but to think that a sky version of Kim Jong-un can actually read their mind, or control the weather.
I can’t recommend it enough to read that book, it’s so liberating and eye-opening, also reading what a North-Korea defector had to go through physically and mentally to survive, it’s heart breaking.
Being queer and an ex-cult believer, sometimes still messes up with my head. I wake up in the morning and I need 2/3 minutes to understand what kinda of dream I am living in. Then I realise it’s life, real life, so you smile and embrace the whole of yourself, not leaving even a bit outside you, not denying anything and this is the most liberating and fulfilling feeling.
If happiness exists in this world, to me means being truly yourself and living and accepting yourself to the full.
I have never been happier, of course its tough, when you lose in a blink of an eye all the figures now belonging to your past, when in a blink of an eye your life changes direction, when you have now so much unconditional love that you don’t even know how to deal with it! It’s tough, but freedom, real freedom feels amazing. Freedom from judgments, freedom from labels, freedom from people opinions’s expectations, freedom of speech, freedom of though. It’s like for the first time I can actually walk in my skin, I can actually breath and taste food for the first time.
I just wish all the people that are part of a universe that now hasn’t got anything to do with me anymore, to wake up, to research to never give into fears and start exploring what living really means, what mind control is, what cognitive dissonance is and how the brain works.
I wish they could see beyond made up lies, I don’t say it because I want them back in my life, it doesn’t belong to me that decision, I say it cause I wish they could take their lives back themselves.
Live, love and prosper.
Some more juicy adventures coming soon!
Lots of love,